


is the camera rolling? (the b horror edition)

by dressruffles



Series: femmexo bingo fills [9]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, OT12 cameos, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 02:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8826472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dressruffles/pseuds/dressruffles
Summary: Weird things start happening around town, and then they won’t stop -- Kyungsoo just wants to keep attending classes in peace, but Baekhyun’s pretty into it all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this chinguline mess back in nov 2014 and am only now getting around to editing and posting it. it's basically crack, but i love this old thing so so much. you can squint for some other pairings if you want beyond the baeksoo...uh, and there's ot12 cameos btw! oh yeah, and also there's random transgirl chanyeol because *finger guns* iunno, why not.

**Reasons why Kyungsoo hates her roommates:**  
1) They are loud.  
2) Byun Baekhyun shoves her tits in everyone's face.  
3) Really mainly Kyungsoo hates Byun Baekhyun, actually, now that she thinks about it.

 

 

 

To say Kyungsoo isn't friends with her roommates is a lie. She is. It's third year and she chose to room with them instead of leaving it up to random room assignments, because at least she already knows the shitty parts of their habits and personalities. (She also had a weird misplaced crush on Baekhyun freshman year, that has luckily evaporated into mild annoyance on a good day, and a minor if not slightly toxic obsession with unleashing unholy wrath upon Baekhyun on the worst of days. Most days are good days, though.) These things all make the rooming situation both better and worse.

"Put a bra on," Kyungsoo grumbles when she exits her room to Baekhyun purposely smooshing her boobs in Jongdae's face. Chanyeol is smooshing her unattached silicone breast forms in Jongdae's face too, and there's a story here but Kyungsoo doesn't want to know it.

"When I'm finished sacrificing Jongdae to my boobs to make them stronger and better, okay?" Baekhyun says easily.

"A faster breast," Chanyeol chimes in, tone solemn and serious even as her smile nearly splits at the seams with how wide she's grinning. "A terribly powerful breast."

Kyungsoo works very very hard not to visibly react to this, because she's about eighty percent sure that half the time they do this kind of shit just to see what she's going to do about it in return. Instead, she adjusts the strap of her bag and simply says, "Right, well I have class, so I'll see you later."

Jongdae wails something, but it's muffled and unintelligible, so Kyungsoo leaves her to her doom in the form of suffocation by cleavage. There are worse ways to go, probably.

However, this day is different from most, and that's mainly because when Kyungsoo opens the front door to step out into the hall, something that looks eerily like a translucent human skeleton flies by, screeching. It's chasing what looks like their neighbor's cat down the hall, and said cat is yowling as it skids around the corner, ghost-skeleton hot on its trail. Kyungsoo isn't sure what to do, but suddenly the yowling stops and what looks like a freaking explosion of blood splatters against the wall.  
  
Kyungsoo quickly decides to shut the door.

"......okay...." She says slowly, because _um_.

"...What the fuck was that?" Baekhyun says with utmost alarm. When Kyungsoo turns to face her, the three of them are all frozen in mid-boob-to-face-smooshing ministrations and staring at the door behind Kyungsoo with varying expressions of horror and confusion.

"Right." Maybe if they just ignore it, it'll be fine. "Well, I'm going back to bed," Kyungsoo says resolutely, and does just that.

 

 

 

**the creeping slime and the sorority babes**

 

 

 

Baekhyun doesn't end up a ~~sobbing~~ freaked out mess the next time the unexplained supernatural happens. This is good, because this time instead of an unfortunate pizza delivery guy succumbing to a flying skeleton haunting their floor of the dorm housing before its bloodlust is sated and it moves on to the afterlife (seriously what the fuck -- also it had been Jongdae's bright idea to order pizza in the first place because: 1. they were hungry, and 2. _'well, we have to check that the hallway is safe SOMEHOW -- '_ ), they manage to solve the issue without any casualties.

Well, like, Baekhyun almost dies at one point -- but that's kind of because she was dicking around and Kyungsoo almost pushed her right into the sentient slime that's been giving them a low speed chase since last Thursday. So it's a little bit her own fault.

Anyway.

"Is this going to become a daily fixture of our lives?" Jongdae wonders idly. "Is one of us the chosen one or something?"

Chanyeol hums and taps a thoughtful finger to her lips. "I'd hedge bets on it being Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo wrinkles her nose up in distaste -- an expression Baekhyun potentially likes _too_ much, which directly correlates to how Kyungsoo almost shoved her head first into their newest monster of the week -- and continues to click on links on her laptop to figure out how to send this particular element of the supernatural back from whence it came. 

"Though, you probably just accidentally opened up a gate to the spirit world while messing around with the occult," Chanyeol says, still going. "That seems like something you'd be into on the downlow."

Baekhyun is a little annoyed that no one's pointing at her as being a potential chosen one, but that's alright. She clears her throat professionally instead, and says, "If this does become a regular thing, we can give each time it happens a cool, thematic name to commemorate. I'll go first: the creeping slime," she gestures to the fluorescent goo that's advancing across the living room floor as they mostly ignore it and stand on furniture. "And..." 

Pausing for effect she looks at each of them. Then, finally, thrusting out her chest proudly, she finishes. "...And the sorority babes."

"We're not even in a sorority," Jongdae points out, though she's grinning. Chanyeol's laughing and Kyungsoo's rolling her eyes.

"But we're definitely babes," Baekhyun says seriously. "Cool. It's decided. I'm naming each thing. I clearly have a knack for it."

"I will attempt to murder you again if you don't shut up," Kyungsoo grumbles, and she's so cute when she's being horrible, Baekhyun thinks blandly (and sort of half means it, just shut up okay?).

 

 

 

**Reasons why Kyungsoo isn't fucking dealing with this:**  
1) Because she's just fucking _not_ , okay?  
2) Chanyeol, stop looking at me like that.  
3) Jongdae, you too.

 

 

 

Third time's the charm, but this time it's kind of in a backwards, 'nope, I tap out, I'm not facing a vampire today, no' sort of way.

Which maybe is better, because Baekhyun tries to charge head first into it, gets three dudes killed somehow (Kyungsoo's not asking), and Chanyeol, desperate to even out their numbers ("Because maybe there usually being four of us gives us some sort of magical boost or protection? I don't know, there's a magic thing with numbers right? Minseok's totally into that, and I don't know anything about it, but magic in numbers is _totally_ a thing, and four is the number of death but like, in our favor maybe-- "), calls up Jongin.

This turns out to be a good thing, because by the time Jongin comes over -- after plenty of mumbling over the phone that she's only coming because Kyungsoo is potentially in mortal danger or whatever -- Jongdae and Baekhyun have managed to figure out enough from the internet and the extensive though pluralistic lore concerning vampirism to come up with a plan that includes composing some sort of verbal ward.

Jongin, a classical Korean composition major, whips up a beautifully metered piece in no time flat and they manage to exorcise the vampire from the dorm by sunset.

"You'll need to make something to chase the vamp out of town, I guess," Baekhyun says, draping herself over Kyungsoo, who has ruefully stationed herself at the kitchen table, textbooks littered around her. Kyungsoo pointedly ignores everything, including the vague sort of relief she has that all of them are okay, even if it means Baekhyun's still around to be loud and obnoxious and too-touchy all the time. Because maybe if she keeps ignoring everything, then this ridiculousness will end. "I guess something bigger? A longer soliloquy or whatever."

Chanyeol's hugging Jongin to her chest, cooing while Jongin just wearily bears it, rubbing sleepily at her eye. She shrugs, "I can try? Are you guys the reason all this stuff keeps happening lately?"

Jongdae hums. "Yeah, we don't know either."

 

 

 

**it came from beneath chanyeol's bed, probably? (and the sorority babes)**

 

 

 

"Okay," Baekhyun says, as she and Chanyeol finish setting up of their holy water canon contraption thing, while Kyungsoo oversees.  
  
She isn't sure where Kyungsoo's ordered this specialty weapon from online, or even how you make a search engine get you actually useful sites for solutions on occult-ish situations, but Kyungsoo's been pretty admirably resourceful and Baekhyun's not interested enough in the logistics to ask. Plus, whenever Baekhyun does ask about details and show genuine interest in Kyungsoo or starts complimenting her, she gets flustered and then only rolls her eyes and mumbles insults under her breath. And while that's adorable, there's a time and a place, and even Baekhyun can acknowledge that deep within the winding catacombs of a monster's lair seem to be definitively neither those things. 

"This time,” Baekhyun continues on to say. “It's totally appropriate to call ourselves the young, supple, college babes. Like come _on_. It's targeting us!"

Chanyeol's honestly pretty thrilled that this hair monster (no really, it's like a giant hair ball? with fangs. Jongdae's swearing up and down it's some kind of breed of werewolf, but Baekhyun's not convinced) is targeting her too. It's been _only_ going after girls, which like. Horrible. A cheerleader the other day was found outside of what might be its lair on the outskirts of town, mummified and wrapped in silky threads because okay, hairball-spider-creature-maybe-werewolf-monster-thing, sure why not? But it's apparently not disregarding or discriminating against girls based on technicalities concerning strict biology in its quest to fulfill its desire for female human flesh, and Chanyeol's mostly been geeking out about that for the past two days.

Kyungsoo is, predictably, annoyed by it. "Do you want this thing to seriously eat you?"

Chanyeol waves her hands around. "But _guys_."

Baekhyun claps her on the back, says only half mocking, "I feel you, partner. Good for you."

Chanyeol looks at her suspiciously. Baekhyun grins, even though she knows a solid jab to ribs is coming for her impertinence when she says, “An equal opportunity to get devoured is all I ever dreamed for you, too.” Ah and there’s the too-bony elbow -- ouch.

Baekhyun’s ready to say more, honestly. However, at this moment, Jongdae shoots from around the corner, eyes wide as she makes impressive distance on her short legs. Looks like they chose well for the person who had to be bait. 

"Who has the gun?!" Jongdae's shrieking -- and the thing is rounding the corner close behind her, so her alarm is understandable.

Baekhyun carefully aims, tongue peeking out from the corner of her mouth. "On it! Duck!"

 

 

 

**Reasons why Kyungsoo just wants to have a normal week for once:**  
1) She has a midterm on Tuesday that she hasn't studied for at all.  
2) Temporary rune tattoos are turning out to be pretty annoyingly itchy.  
3) She's burned through all her excused absences in all her classes and keeps falling asleep when she DOES attend.  
4) If she could get through one weekend without having to fight for her life, that'd be kind of nice.  
5) Honestly, why does she have to explain this? To anyone?

 

 

 

Yifan's been re-upping their runes in orange sharpie because why would she use black? Why would she choose a non-gaudy color when her underwear of choice is loud and expressive? Literally right now Kyungsoo can see her bra strap and it's soft baby blue and has little retro pop art-stylized pictures of ice cream cones on it. And Yifan likes to get matching bra and panty sets, _so_.

"Why do you even know how to do this?" Jongdae is asking curiously when Yifan stops by for the nightly touch up. 

Yifan shrugs as she focuses on getting one of swirls along Jongdae's belly just right. "My mom thought it was important. I know some talisman warding tricks too -- I think I come from a long line of exorcists or something, and she's just not telling me."

Chanyeol is eating a popsicle while she waits her turn. Obviously she's taken note of Yifan's underwear too, and it's gotten her hungry. Kyungsoo can kind of empathize. "You'd think you'd sound more excited about that possibility," Chanyeol points out around a mouthful of flavored ice.

Yifan shrugs again, and tries to blink her bangs out of her eyes through sheer force of will, to the point that Kyungsoo takes pity on her and reaches over to push her hair back for her.  
  
"I mean," Yifan says after nodding her thanks to Kyungsoo. "It's not really a viable career option or anything."

Kyungsoo goes back to trying to get her reading done, but the runes' effect are starting to sink into her skin and into her blood, and the low burning along her nerves from the initial activation always is distracting -- and takes hours to wear down. Usually it doesn't get bearable until a few hours before it's time to renew them, which is obnoxious. This whole thing is obnoxious. She sighs tiredly.

Baekhyun, who is also runed up and is sitting at the table while messing around on her phone, pats Kyungsoo's hand idly. “Hang in there, studious kid. We'll get those soul-stealing bastards in time for you to study for exams without feeling like fire ants are crawling all over you." 

That's...pretty kind of Baekhyun to say, and Kyungsoo has to bite down on the small smile threatening to show up. "We'd better," she says, but her tone is nowhere near snappy or menacing like it usually is. Kyungsoo doesn’t even feel compelled to follow up with something meaner. Huh.

But anyway, Baekhyun's words are little more than empty promises -- or at least aren't something that she really has a say in. Yifan's good at this random doodling runes thing (for all the drawbacks runes have for those new to using them), but Yixing's the one who'll decide when and where and how they’ll 'get the soul stealing bastards'.  
  
After all, she's the one that explained to them what exactly was going on this time, why people were dropping into comas left and right all over campus and throughout town, because Yixing most definitely _is_ from a long line of supernatural bestiary keepers, apparently (it's so funny what comes out the woodwork nowadays, honestly). And what exactly is going on is essentially goblins -- and they're apparently worse and more vengeful and vicious than things like werewolves and vampires.

So, until Yixing can dig through her giant tome of a bestiary and hand back to them an idea for how to kill goblins, they're depending on Yifan to at least keep them safe. Despite that, the way Baekhyun smiles at Kyungsoo makes her sort of feel like things are going to turn out alright in the end no matter what, and she can't help but to smile back

"Oh my god," Jongdae says, hushed and dramatic. "Chanyeol, are you seeing this? _Yifan_ , are you seeing this? This is what we have to live with. Be still my beating heart, I swear to god -- "

Kyungsoo doesn't like that Jongdae's looking right at her while she's saying this, nor does she appreciate the insinuation. "Shut _up_." 

Jongdae only grins, and shares a high five with Chanyeol. But then --

"Your hand is sticky!" Jongdae promptly says indignantly, looking appalled at a still smiling Chanyeol who only waves her popsicle stick in the air demonstratively.

All the while, Yifan has to carefully grab Jongdae by the hips, mumbling quietly, "Stay _still_."

 

 

 

**tales of laser toxic demons from outer space and the star roaming pussycat pinups who fight them**

 

 

 

Baekhyun had to get Sehun to explain the science of a laser to her, but it didn't really do a fat lot of good. Part of that is because even a barebones layman's explanation was more than what Baekhyun wanted to deal with. The rest of it is just that Baekhyun doesn't always _listen_ real good. And, because of that, she may have strong-armed them into doing something kind of stupid and dangerous for no good reason. 

In her defense, she really thought it would _work_.

"I told you the math was important," Minseok tells them distractedly, straightening the sheets at the foot of Kyungsoo's hospital bed. "So you should probably wait until that date I confirmed for you. If this demon thing doesn't get sucked back through the portal and go back to wherever it came from by then, then...I don't know. Definitely start panicking and throwing hail marys at that point. But it should work itself out, as long as we all avoid getting in the thing's way."

Lu Han is braiding Kyungsoo's now short hair (it looks cute in a bob, but the fact that the only reason it's been cut so short was to get rid of all the uneven singed ends that inevitably accompanied practically being fried to death is...upsetting, to say the least), but she pauses long enough to raise a skeptical eyebrow at Baekhyun. "Honestly, what were you expecting to do against a bunch of polarized light, anyway?"

It's a good question, and the answer is that Baekhyun is totally making everything up as she goes and is flying by the seat of her pants. And, okay, _maybe_ if Baekhyun had shared that tidbit of information earlier, she wouldn't have made the grave error of all but lobbying Kyungsoo head first into the demon as a sort of distraction for a feint. It had done nothing, except get Kyungsoo hurt kind of incredibly badly.

As is, Baekhyun can't entirely help the way she bristles under the guilt. "Shouldn't you be going all magical fucking girl on us and help, then?"

Chanyeol silently puts a comforting hand on Baekhyun's back, kneading out the tension in her knotted up muscles. Jongdae is sitting in the hospital bed with Kyungsoo, leaning up against her and watching Baekhyun carefully, almost warily. None of them are over how shitty this has turned out, Jongdae especially: she had been the first to find Kyungsoo's mangled up body.  
  
So...yeah. Understandably, Jongdae's been practically glued to Kyungsoo's side since she's first regained consciousness. Baekhyun would be too, but seeing as it's her fault in the first place, she sort of feels like she doesn't have the right.

Lu Han shoots her a look that is decidedly unimpressed with Baekhyun's attempts at lashing out. It's unnecessary, because Baekhyun already knows her anger is misplaced. "I'll go 'magical girl' on you when the time is right. Just listen to Minseok and wait on it, okay?"

"Yeah," Kyungsoo says casually, like she hasn't been shut up in ICU for a week because Baekhyun doesn't believe in the institution of well thought out plans. "Sure, it's a space demon, but as long as it keeps being mostly harmless when left alone, then we should be fine. It's just floating above town and making it perpetually night when no one messes with it. So calm down, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun forces a smile on her face -- there's no point in moping or snapping or explaining that it's not the impending doom of the demon that's got her wound up, but instead mistakes already made with them trying to engage it in a fight last week. She messed up, and now she has to own up to that.  
  
"I'm calm. Chill. As chill as a cucumber," she trills out lightly. "Even though they're fucking disgusting." And she leans closer into Chanyeol's sympathetic touch.

("I _am_ sorry," Baekhyun finally gathers up the courage to tell Kyungsoo quietly, when everyone's left and visitor hours are just about over. "If anything ever happened to you...I..." 

Kyungsoo raises a hand to stop her. Her hair is wavy from the braids Lu Han put in and took out. She looks so small and fragile in her cot, but her eyes are as clear and intense as ever. "No hard feelings. We didn't know. And I'm the one who went along with it." Kyungsoo shrugs. "Probably because it was you, you know." 

She smiles gently now, an embarrassed kind of smile, and Baekhyun _gets_ it suddenly. Just...gets it. Funny, what near-death misses make you stop and take notice of.

Kyungsoo tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and her gaze softens. "And hey, this just means you owe me." 

Even though her words are a joke, there might be a _I like you_ tucked in there, the way she's saying it. Baekhyun grins back, says just as gently, "I always owe you, Kyungsoo," before ducking out the room.)

 

 

 

**Reasons why Kyungsoo is reluctantly getting used to this shit:**  
1) Because of her goddamn roommates, why else?  
2) Unsurprisingly, _mainly_ Byun fucking Baek-fucking-hyun.  
3) _Ugh_.

 

 

 

It's been months since that fateful morning when she opened the door to their brave new world of ghost skeletons and exploding cats and every other kind of supernatural paranormal event imaginable. Nowadays, when Kyungsoo wakes up in the morning, she expects every day now to hear about something supernatural and weird and tedious that she'll probably get roped into dealing with. It's strange how easily she's adapted. 

A few other things have maybe changed, too. For instance, right now in her bed, Baekhyun snuffles sleepily. And that -- well, that's new still. And also kind of strange. Kyungsoo isn't used to it yet, but she maybe doesn't mind learning to adapt to how Baekhyun clings and invades any and every level of personal space, even in her sleep.

At this moment however, Chanyeol invites herself into Kyungsoo's room without knocking, and she's one of the few people who're sometimes allowed to do that and survive. She's idly scratching her stomach and squinting, still half asleep, her phone held loosely in one hand. "So, Tao's calling and wailing about the undead or something?"

Over the line, Kyungsoo can hear Tao's voice yell tinnily, "I'm not _wailing_ , and don't say it like my reaction isn't justified!"

Chanyeol yawns, unbothered. "Yeah, so do you wanna get started on dealing with this after breakfast? I kind of have a morning class and can't go, but -- "

Baekhyun groans and flips over to look at Chanyeol, her bed hair now tickling Kyungsoo's nose. She barely avoids sneezing, as Baekhyun deadpans at Chanyeol, an unamused, "Dude."

Chanyeol makes a face, presumably trading one back with Baekhyun (because even though Kyungsoo can't see her face, it’s highly likely Baekhyun’s making some kind of over the top expression). "Dude yourself, I ran out of absences for a _participation class_ and my grade is suffering, _and_ it's a foundation credit."

Tao's making loud but pitiful noises over the phone, and now Kyungsoo's phone is lighting up -- and when she looks, it's Sehun sending out group chats to all of them that are long strings of unhappy emoticons and keysmashes and this one block of text that only reads 'shutmygirlfriendup' with no spaces and repeated over and over again.

"Why is Sehun spamming everyone at seven in the morning?" Jongdae yells from down the hall. "Is this our new 'man the battle stations' signal? 'Cause I gotta say, I liked the old system of 'panic and bullshit it' better!"

Kyungsoo groans. "God, okay, I'll look into it while Jongdae makes coffee." Kyungsoo also has to yell, but that's just so Tao hears Kyungsoo over her own piteous whimpering. 

The second she _does_ hear, Tao stops her whimpers and an evident chipper smile can be heard in her voice. "Thank you, counting on you!"

("You don’t even _drink_ most of your coffee when I make it for you. Because you, like everyone I know -- except for Minseok -- are a toddler," Jongdae is yelling again from down the hall. Not even a minute later, though, the sound of the coffee maker starting up sounds throughout the apartment.)

Kyungsoo sighs and moves to get up. Baekhyun whines and flips back over to cling, harder and harder, to Kyungsoo and stop her from getting out of bed.  
  
It gets to the point where she has to press her hand against Baekhyun's face for a solid thirteen seconds, before Baekhyun finally gives up and lets go, whimpering obnoxiously and sadly the whole time. To make up for it, Kyungsoo sighs, kisses the same hand she used to half-suffocate Baekhyun into submission in the first place, and then stamps her palm to Baekhyun's forehead. Baekhyun smiles up at her delightedly.

"Huh," Chanyeol says thoughtfully. "Gross, and I never want to see anything like that ever again."

"Hater," Baekhyun tells her solemnly, and Kyungsoo secretly agrees.

 

 

 

**it rises! a mega showdown of a lifetime! megalodonsarus rex versus mega hot --**

 

 

 

"I swear to god, Baekhyun," Kyungsoo grumbles, and something about Kyungsoo's constant ire always makes Baekhyun beam. It's almost like it's the only way Kyungsoo knows how to show affection. "Shut up and _stop naming everything_."

(Somewhere in the background, Jongdae's on speaker phone with Junmyeon, who's patiently walking her through paleontology 101 -- though Junmyeon does keep interjecting her own explanations with high-strung exasperated outbursts of, "Okay, but remember that a Megalodon and a Tyrannosaurus Rex are usually two separate creatures and this isn't science here, this is _ridiculous madness_ \-- " that Jongdae's soothing out with murmured, "Shh shh, Junmyeon, babe, okay stay with me here." 

Also somewhere in the background, Chanyeol's marking a map and narrating her logic outloud of, "Well, obviously we should avoid having a royal showdown in the basin, but it's got legs and we've seen it chase down a police cruiser booking it at like ninety miles per hour so like...open flat space would fuck us over too...")

Baekhyun's still grinning when she leans over and kisses Kyungsoo, and then says, "Stop being a spoilsport, you huge wet blanket."

Kyungsoo glares at her, but she doesn't hit Baekhyun or anything, just rolls her eyes and shifts her attention back to browsing through twitter on her phone to pinpoint sightings of where the gigantic monster is without putting them in the line of fire. Kyungsoo even stays pressed up next to her, their legs touching. 

So Baekhyun counts it as a win, and goes back to drafting up purposely sensationalist blog posts and leaving emotive comments on local news sites and strangers' facebooks -- all to try and goad enough of the internet into shouting about this shit to get the coast guard or something out here sooner rather than later.

Their lives are kind of fucking weird nowadays, but hey -- it's not necessarily a bad thing.


End file.
